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Separate Beds for Couples: 3 Big Reasons It'll Bring You Closer

Carl Heinrichs, owner of Quagga Designs.
Written by,

Carl Heinrichs

CEO of Quagga

Sleeping in separate beds means you don't love each other... right?

Think again.

A 2017 survey from the National Sleep Foundation shows that 1 in 4 couples sleep in separate bedrooms, and it is becoming more common.

There's no question that every couple is different, so sleeping in separate beds is not a one size fits all solution.

Whether it’s good or bad depends on the couple and what works best for their relationship. Some couples find that sharing a bed helps them feel closer and more connected, while others find that having separate spaces makes them happier and less stressed.

But maybe you've been struggling with getting your "beauty sleep" due to sharing the bed with your partner, and you've wondered if sleeping in a separate bed will enhance your relationship. You've come to the right place!

This article will explore why separate beds for couples can enhance your relationship and bring you closer than further apart. So if you're having relationship problems, sleeping separately could be your silver lining.

Separate Beds for Couples: 3 Big Reasons It'll Bring You Closer

Here are the biggest reasons couples who sleep separately will bring them closer:

  1. You'll Get a Good Night's Sleep (For Once!)
  2. You'll Get Your Peace and Quiet (Ahhhh...)
  3. Believe It or Not: It Can Improve Your Sex Lives

1. You'll Get a Good Night's Sleep (For Once!)

A woman wearing a light blue tank top rests in bed. / @cottonbro

There are several reasons why sleeping in separate rooms can lead to better sleep quality for couples:

  • Sharing a bed with a partner can cause disturbances in sleep due to movement, snoring, or differences in temperature preferences
  • Sleeping in separate rooms can provide couples with a quiet, distraction-free environment, leading to deeper and more restful sleep
  • Sleeping in separate rooms can provide each partner with their own space, promoting feelings of independence and autonomy, reducing stress, and improving sleep quality

Here are some common problems couples experience from sleeping in the same room and how sleeping separately can solve this!


If you've ever slept beside a restless sleeper, you know all too well how someone who tosses and turns all night can wake you up multiple times throughout the night, disrupting your sleep cycle and preventing you from ever getting into a deep sleep. Over time, this can lead to feelings of fatigue and irritability during the day, which can impact their overall quality of life.

A partner's movement can significantly affect someone's quality of sleep in several ways:

  • Fragmented sleep (if one partner moves frequently during the night, it can cause the other partner to wake up or be jostled out of a deep sleep, resulting in feeling less rested and more fatigued during the day)
  • Feeling cramped or uncomfortable (if one partner is much larger than the other or takes up more space in the bed)

A partner's movement during sleep can significantly impact the other partner's sleep quality, leading to fatigue, irritability, and decreased quality of life.


Alternatively, if one partner snores loudly or has sleep apnea, it can significantly affect the other partner's sleep quality. Snoring can disrupt a person's sleep cycle and prevent the other partner from achieving deep and restful sleep.

Sleep apnea can cause the person to stop breathing momentarily during the night, which can cause the other partner to become anxious and worried about their partner's health. This can also lead to less restful sleep and feelings of fatigue during the day.

According to Better Sleep Council, "proponents of separate sleeping cite research demonstrating that couples suffer 50% more sleep disturbances when sharing a bed." Dealing with these sleep disturbances might not be worth it, and you're not alone; plenty of couples would agree!

Differences in Temperature

Differences in body heat between couples in bed can lead to discomfort and make it difficult for both partners to get a good night's sleep. This is because our bodies naturally cool down when we sleep, and if one partner is significantly warmer than the other, it can create an uncomfortable environment.

For example, if one partner feels too hot, they may kick off the blankets, leaving the other feeling cold. Alternatively, if one partner feels too cold, they may need to pile on more blankets, making the other partner feel too warm. These temperature fluctuations can disrupt sleep and lead to frequent awakenings throughout the night.

Additionally, suppose one partner is consistently warmer than the other. In that case, it can make it difficult for the cooler partner to fall asleep in the first place, as they may feel uncomfortable or even sweaty.

There are several strategies that couples can use to address differences in body temperature in bed:

  • Use separate blankets
  • Adjust the thermostat
  • Wear breathable and moisture-wicking fabrics

Different Sleep Preferences

Different sleep preferences between couples, such as leaving the TV on or having a fan on throughout the night, can also disrupt sleep and prevent both partners from getting a good night's rest.

Watching TV and leaving it on can be particularly disruptive, as the light and noise from the TV can interfere with the body's natural sleep rhythms and make it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. Additionally, the content on the TV may be stimulating and prevent the brain from relaxing and entering a restful state.

Similarly, having a fan on throughout the night can create noise and disrupt sleep, mainly if one partner is more sensitive to noise than the other. Additionally, if the fan is blowing directly on one partner, it can create discomfort and disrupt sleep.

To address these sleep preferences, couples should communicate with each other and try to find solutions that work for both partners.

For example, if one partner prefers to sleep with the TV on, they can find a way to use headphones or turn the TV to a lower volume to reduce the disruption. Similarly, if one partner prefers to sleep with a fan on, they can try using a white noise machine or placing the fan in a location that won't directly blow on the other partner.

Ultimately, finding a compromise that works for both partners is key to getting a good night's sleep and maintaining a healthy and happy relationship.

2. You'll Get Your Peace and Quiet (Ahhhh...)

A woman with crossed legs sitting on her bed and meditating. / @olly

Overall, sleeping in separate bedrooms can improve sleep quality and less sleep deprivation for couples. It can provide a quiet and distraction-free environment.

Having your personal space and sleeping in your bed can also give couples a sense of independence and autonomy, reducing stress and promoting better sleep quality.

When each partner has their own space, they can decorate and arrange it to their liking. Not only does this create a comfortable and relaxing environment that promotes restful sleep, but it also improves mental health.

Furthermore, separate rooms allow each partner to have their sleep schedule for a good night's rest. For example, if one partner is a night owl and likes to stay up late, they can do so without disturbing the other partner, who prefers to go to bed early and wake up early.

Overall, sleeping in separate rooms can provide couples with quiet, reduce external factors that may disturb their sleep, and promote a comfortable and relaxing environment to fall asleep more quickly.

3. Believe It or Not, It Can Improve Your Sex Lives

Man and woman hugging on a porch outside. / @candice_picard

Couples who sleep separately can improve their sex lives in a few ways.

Firstly, sleeping in separate rooms can help each partner feel more well-rested and refreshed, leading to increased energy levels and a greater desire for intimacy. Additionally, having separate rooms can create a sense of anticipation when the partners come together for intimate moments, which can help to enhance the overall sexual experience.

According to Metro News, 34% of couples who sleep apart claim they have better sex and more of it, while 38% they sleeping apart has improved their relationship overall.

Overall, sleeping in separate rooms can improve a couple's sex life by providing increased energy levels, creating a sense of anticipation, and enhancing sexual communication and satisfaction.

Time for a Divorce

Of where you sleep, that is! We're not suggesting you get an actual divorce over this.

While sleeping in separate beds may seem unconventional or taboo, it can offer couples numerous benefits, such as improved sleep quality, reduced sleep deprivation, increased privacy and intimacy, and a healthy sex life.

It's important for couples to communicate openly and honestly about their sleeping arrangements and to prioritize their individual and collective well-being to maintain a strong and healthy relationship.

Ultimately, whatever sleeping arrangement a couple chooses, the most important factor is that they are both happy, well-rested, and feel supported and loved by each other.


What is sleep divorce?

Sleep divorce is a term used to describe the practice of married or cohabiting couples who sleep in separate beds or bedrooms permanently or regularly. It is typically done to improve the quality of sleep and overall well-being of each partner.

Is it healthy for couples to sleep in separate beds?

It can be healthy for couples to sleep in separate beds if it improves the quality of their sleep and overall well-being. However, couples need to communicate openly and honestly about their sleeping arrangements and make sure that they maintain a strong emotional connection.

Is it better for couples to have separate bedrooms?

It depends on the individual couple and their unique needs and preferences. For some couples, having separate bedrooms may improve their sleep quality and overall relationship satisfaction, while for others, sharing a bed may be important for maintaining intimacy and connection.

What percentage of married couples sleep in separate beds?

There is no definitive answer, as the percentage varies depending on the source and the population studied. However, studies suggest that 10% to 30% of married couples sleep in separate beds or bedrooms.

Why did married couples sleep in separate beds?

In the past, married couples slept in separate beds due to societal norms and traditions, as well as practical reasons such as limited space or medical conditions that required separate sleeping arrangements. Today, some couples sleep in separate beds or bedrooms for similar reasons and to improve their sleep quality and overall well-being.

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Carl Heinrichs

CEO of Quagga
Carl Heinrichs is the Founder of Quagga, Canada's most innovative furniture design solutions that are easy to assemble and playfully made.

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